Yesterday afternoon, my husband was carrying the full laundry basket to the basement and asked for my help opening the door since it’s a tight squeeze and nearly impossible to open it with the laundry basket. As I followed him to the basement, I snagged a bag clip off the kitchen counter that’s shaped like a hand and clipped it to the back of his pants. He pulled it off, looked at it, and asked, “Why are you attaching a clip to my ass?” To which I replied, “I’m giving you a hand.”
Ba dum bum ching.
And last night as we were climbing into bed, he’s hunting around for his handkerchief. He lifts up his bottom pillow and says, in a surprised tone of voice, “Oh look! There’s my hanky.”
Me [deadpan]: What a surprise considering that’s where you always keep your hanky.
Him: I keep it under there because I’m waiting for the bogeyman to come and leave me a dollar.