I got my Clarion West rejection email very late Friday night. I’m super bummed out about it, but it’s okay. I got the better of their two rejection letters which means they liked my writing so… Yay? I just keep reminding myself that this rejection has more to do with the sheer number of people applying rather than it being a reflection on my writing.
That said, I’m not sure I want to apply again next year. The stress of waiting for a reply really messed me up both physically and mentally. Every time the phone rang last week I practically had a panic attack. And I’m STILL pissed at the telemarketer who called. TWICE! The first time I was washing dishes and didn’t hear the phone ring and he didn’t leave a message. I was an absolute wreck that day. Then, when the asshole called back a day or two later and asked for me by name, I nearly leaped through the phone and killed him when he started his pitch for some stupid ass “oxygenated herbal drink”.
So, when application time rolls around next year, I’m going to have to think long and hard about whether it’s worth it to put myself through that again. Because it was honestly worse than querying agents. At least with agents they don’t really give you a time frame to expect their response.